Developing And Utilizing Social Supports

When someone lacks emotion health, they tend to withdraw from pleasurable activities and socially isolate. One important way to regain emotion health is to develop and utilize social supports.

We all need several good friends to talk to, spend time with, and to be supported by with their care and understanding. For someone to be a part of your support system requires that you care for them and trust them. A partner of family member is a likely candidate for your support system.

You may develop relationships with people through activities or interests that you share. These relationships could become strong enough to become part of your support system. Other resources could be clubs or other social group affiliations that you feel a part of and feel important to. Whoever the person or group is, it is necessary that there be mutual care, positive regard, and trust.

Characteristics of a supportive relationship

1. Objectivity and open-mindedness. They let you describe who you are and how you feel. They validate you
2. They support and affirm your individuality and recognize your strengths. They validate and encourage your goals
3. They empathize with you. They understand your life circumstances and how you are affected by your life experiences
4. They accept you as you are without being judgmental. You can ask one another for help and support
5. You can laugh with them and be playful. You will both enjoy it.
6. They are at your side, supporting you to do whatever is important to you

Who makes up your support system

1. __________________________
2. __________________________
3. __________________________
4. __________________________
5. __________________________

If you didn’t have anyone to list as your support system or only 1-2 people, don’t feel bad about yourself and give up. What you have done is to accomplish the first step in understanding what you need to do: change your situation. The good news is that there is a lot you can do to change your situation.

What stands in your way?

__ You have a hard time reaching out

__ You have a hard time making and keeping friends

__ Low self-esteem

__ You tend to be very needy and draining to others

__ You become overly dependent and wear people out

__ You lack the social skills necessary to develop relationships

__ You have inappropriate behaviors which embarrass others

__ You are unreliable

What is it you need and want?

__ Someone to talk to

__ Understanding

__ Someone to stand up for you

__ Companionship

__ Caring

__ Sharing

__ Someone to watch or monitor you

__ Someone who will listen to you

__ Someone to do things with

__ Someone who calls/texts you

__ Mutual support and positive regard

People that help you get started in making the changes necessary to develop a strong support system include your therapist, minister, and various support groups. There are also many helpful books that have been written that you can find in the psychology of self-help sections of a bookstore. The main thing to do is make a commitment to yourself to develop a support system and to not give up.